Amusement: Slytherin Style
by Awahili
Summary: Two Slytherins cause mayhem on their off-time. Complete humor, and fun for Slytherins of all ages! Just a fun fic to demonstrate how warped me and my friends are. These are based on ACTUAL IM convos...no really, this was really conversed about.
1. Two Slytherins

Wow, was this totally random. This was spawned from an ACTUAL instant messaging conversation between me and my friend Flyer. Purely entertainment for us Slytherins.  
  
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"Howdy Rox!" Katherine Frost ran up to her friend, who was engrossed in something that Frost couldn't really make out.  
  
"Uh huh," was her only reply.  
  
"You're supposed to say 'hi!' Is that too hard? Really, is it? Am I being totally unreasonable?"  
  
"Hi, yes, of course it is, and yes you are." Roxanne West said all this without losing concentration on whatever she was concentrating on.  
  
"That's better."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Nobody loves you so HA! And blech on you!"  
  
This snapped her out of her trance, "Everyone loves me! You can ask them all!"  
  
"If by everyone you mean the voices in your head, well duh! But if you mean actual people that exist, dream on Unloved One."  
  
"I am totally loved! Why are you being so mean to a fellow Slytherin? Save your energy for the Gryffindorks!"  
  
"Sorry," she said, placing a hand on her friend's shoulder, "Truly I am. Being bad all day gets to ya."  
  
"It's ok, all is forgiven, you can be good now! Well, good in a bad way." Rox grinned mischievously. "Care to play 'Trip the Hufflepuff?'"  
  
"Sure, but can we do it over that big mud puddle over there," she pointed over to a gigantic puddle of mud.  
  
"Just what I was thinking! Let's go!"  
  
"Maybe we can push the Gryffindorks in after?" she asked hopefully on the way over.  
  
Rox just pointed her wand at an unsuspecting Hufflepuff and whispered something unintelligible. The Hufflepuff landed face first in the mud, making a big SQUISH SPLAT!  
  
"Your turn."  
  
Frost smiled, and decided to do it the old fashioned way. She stuck out her foot and pushed another Hufflepuff in after the first, who fell back down. She turned back to her companion.  
  
"What? Call me old fashioned and lacking style, but it got the job done."  
  
"Coolness! Look, a herd of Gryffindorks!" She pointed her wand over at the group and cast a full body bind on the leader. "I am good."  
  
"Goody!" Frost squealed, jumping up and down. "Did ya know that the one right beside the leader gets the wiggins around spiders?" She summoned an illusion of many tarantulas.  
  
Rox just laughed and made the illusions larger. Frost began laughing hysterically, but stopped abruptly. "While this IS fun, we might want to flee the scene of the crime. I think I see the Headmaster approaching."  
  
"Not a problem, watch this!" Rox ran over to the Headmaster. "Sir, I think your help is needed over here. Someone attacked the Gryffindors with hokey illusions. I think it was the Ravenclaw Quidditch team trying to syke them out before the match." Frost had come up behind her cohort and was now looking equally abashed and sincere while nodding along. "We'll just be going to get Madame Pompfrey now." Both 6th years ran off, applauding themselves.  
  
"What's next?" Frost asked once inside the castle.  
  
"Hmmm....you think we should actually STUDY for anything? I mean, potions we got aced because we're Slytherins."  
  
"Heck no! We should find practical application as in practice on real people some more!"  
  
"Ok," Rox smiled as Frost raised her eyebrows quizzically and smirked. "Why don't we go find that Potter kid? He's always getting in trouble anyway, we'll just help him out."  
  
"Let's! It's only being charitable, the only right thing to do would be to help him out. What do we do when we find the square?"  
  
"I was thinking an anonymous note telling him his father buried his journal on the edge of the Forbidden Forest."  
  
"Hey, you know what? It would be fun if we managed to break up his little affiliations with those other two." Frost was loving this more and more every minute. "Or, at the very least, cause mayhem."  
  
"If we can get the Weasel and the Mudblood together, Potter will be the third wheel!"  
  
"And third wheels never work out!"  
  
"Right," Rox said, getting faster and faster as the ideas flowed into her head. "Then we can cause a huge fight and break up between the two in the future, causing the Potter boy to choose between them!"  
  
"A stroke of genius, if I do say so myself!" Frost high-fived her ingenious friend.  
  
"Thank you, thank you," Rox took a mock-bow. "You think we should use Malfoy? He's always up for screwing with those three."  
  
"Malfoy? Nah, he can be our scapegoat. I know, I know," Frost held up a hand at her friend's protests, "He's a fellow Slytherin. BUT since he is a Slytherin, he will appreciate our cunning and would wish us well."  
  
"Sounds good! I didn't want him to help anyway. We want all the credit!"  
  
"Of course we do. It was, after all, our planning."  
  
"Yes it was." Rox furrowed her brow, trying to come up with something to do. "Hey, how about we rearrange the library to mess with the Bookworms. Or we can charm all the books with different titles; rearranging is too obvious."  
  
"Ooooohh.....how about we put some of the more, er, volatile books in with the others and switch the binding so that the poor sap who reads it will have a...surprise!"  
  
"Genius! And I have just the thing!" Rox pulled out her wand and cast a spell. "An invisibility spell! We can see and talk to each other, but no one else will know we're there!" Frost smiled and did the shifty-eyes thing.  
  
"They should never give us a three day weekend with no Hogsmeade," Rox said as they made their way to the library. They made their way into the Restricted Section, grabbing the more interesting looking books and went back out. Grabbing a couple of books that they knew others would read, they quickly switched the binding and placed them all back in their original positions.  
  
"This is gonna be so fun!" Frost yelled.  
  
"Shhh...look! It's that Ravenclaw Seeker, Chang!" Rox laughed heartily, "She picked up 'Fire-breathing Dragons of the 12th Century!"  
  
"We hit pay-dirt, my friend. Let's see how her logic works now, the little punk!"  
  
"Stupid thinks it's about magical creatures."  
  
"She is so simple!"  
  
"Well, it IS, technically!" Rox stated.  
  
"I love that word!"  
  
"OH! She got burned!! Literally!"  
  
Both girls laughed out loud, snickering and giggling as well. Rox stopped and pointed.  
  
"Uh oh, librarian alert. Let's get back to the Common Room, quick! I know some short cuts!" Rox ducked behind a bookcase into a passage. Frost followed her quickly, and Rox removed the concealing spell. The passage ended just outside the Slytherin common room entrance.  
  
"What's the password again?" Rox asked her partner in crime.  
  
"Damned if I paid attention to the boring snot who told us."  
  
"Yeah, damn prefects! I think he changed it this morning. Hey, there's Snape."  
  
"Where's a scapegoat when ya need one?"  
  
Rox casually, but respectfully, walked over to the potions master. "Sir, the prefect changed the password and didn't tell us."  
  
Snape sneered and scowled, "I will talk with him later. It is, of course, pureblood." The wall slid back.  
  
"Again?" Rox asked, "Wasn't that one a couple years ago?"  
  
"Well, the good ones keep getting re-used, but take ten points for your intelligence."  
  
Rox smirked as Snape walked off to find a Gryffindor to yell at. "Thank you sir, and have a good day," she called after him. The girls walked into the Common Room. "I rock."  
  
"You rock!" Frost looked around. "We might want to at least tone it down for the rest of the day. No use getting caught after we've caused so much great mayhem."  
  
"Ok, let's go cook up stuff for tomorrow!" Rox ran down to the dormitories, with Frost right behind her.  
  
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Well, that was fun! I own nothing except the game "Trip the Hufflepuff." It is mine! I claim it!! That's it. 


	2. Two Slytherins and a Ravenclaw

More randomness from me and my friends on MSN Instant Messaging.  To answer your questions, yes we're totally insane.  No, we don't give a hooha.

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Roxanne West approached Katherine Frost silently, careful not alert her friend to her presence.  Once she was positioned right behind her, she charmed the book on magical creatures to repeat the same line over and over.  Still unaware of her friend, Frost kept reading the same line, over and over.  Only fits of maniacal giggles clued her into the prank that had just been pulled.

"Rox!  I am trying to study!" she whispered in anger.  Rox deposited herself in the chair next to her.  The others in the library didn't look up, but were cautious in the presence of the Slytherin sixth-years.

"Like you need to study for Care of Magical Creatures!  That's like me studying for Charms or Potions!"  Rox grabbed the nearest book, which happened to be a book on ancient underworld races, and opened to a random page.  Looking up, her face broke out into a devious grin.  "Hey Frost, there's Ducky…let's go say hi."  Rox tossed the book onto the table and Frost looked up.  Seeing their "favorite" Ravenclaw fifth-year, she too smiled and stood.

"Yes, let's."  They sauntered over and sat on either side of him.  "Whatcha doin' Ducky?"  Christopher Duck looked up from his parchment and raised an eyebrow at them.

"I am studying for the History of Magic exam tomorrow."  He looked back down and continued writing.

"Ya need some help?" Rox put in, "Because…Duck!"  She swung for his head, but he looked up at his name, causing himself to be hit.  "Dude, I said duck…which means _don't_ look up."  They laughed at him, and he merely shook his head.  While they were still laughing, he stood and collected his things, walking away from them.  Frost stopped laughing and tapped Rox with the back of her hand.

"Hey look…he's got spunk!"  Rox nodded her head knowingly, and the two Slytherins jumped up and followed.  "Hey wait up!"

"Yeah, you know, not a lot of people would have the pride to get up and walk away.  Most people just sit and take it or fight back.  But walking away?  That takes attitude.  You're alright in my book."  She stuck out her hand while Frost stood smiling behind her.  Duck looked at the hand, then took it.  Rox wrapped an arm around his shoulder, guiding him over to their former table.

"Now, I've been studying charms for as long as I can remember.  Specifically, conjuring and property charms.  So, we've been planning on flooding the Gryffindor common room with small animals.  Just for kicks, ya know?  So, what we need from you is an alibi.  If they come asking, just say me and Frost here were in here the whole time studying for our Transfiguration exam."

Duck shook his head, "I don't know.  That sounds like—"

"Fun?" Frost put in.  Duck sighed, knowing he was defeated, and rubbed his face.

"Alright, then how about frogs?  No, they're so boring.  Let's jazz them up a little, you know…like dire frogs or something."

"Dire?" Rox asked, but Frost merely rolled her eyes.

"It's basically a bigger, meaner version of the animal.  They're dark creatures and all over the forest.  Especially dire rats…ugh…those things are huge."  Duck nodded in agreement.

"You don't seem to be getting the point here, Ducky.  We're going for _quantity,_ not quality.  We want to overrun them with small, harmless animals.  If we do anything serious, we could get expelled."

"Yeah, the worst they could do to us with this is tongue-lashing and chores," Frost added.

Duck's eyes lit up.  "What about pinning it on another student.  That will shift all suspicion away from us entirely.  If they ask me anything in addition to the alibi, I can say I saw whoever sneaking out of the library."

"I like the way this man thinks," Rox smiled.  Frost smiled evilly and looked around.

"Malfoy," she said finally.  Rox broke out into a grin as well.

"Then it's settled.  If they ask for any more info, you tell them Malfoy left the library thirty minutes ago.  That would give him/us enough time to get there, summon the frogs, and get back before the Quidditch game is over.  With Potter as Seeker, the game shouldn't last too long.  I think we psyched Cho out yesterday."  Rox and Frost shared a conspiratorial giggle and turned back to their Ravenclaw companion.  He was playing with a small toad.  "No wonder he has a fascination with frogs."

Duck looked up and smiled.  "This is Daisy."

"Madam Pince is going to flip if she sees that thing in here."  Duck placed Daisy back into his bag.

"What do you two have?"  Rox sighed, going along for now.

"Frost here has a snow white cat named Malachi.  I have a black eagle owl named Adrian.  They wouldn't let me bring Slayer."

"While this is fascinating," Duck commented, "we have to study.  We'll be in trouble for sure if we don't pass."

"Don't worry…all I need to study for is Transfiguration and History of Magic."  Rox smiled.  "Frost here helps me out with Care of Magical Creatures, and I help her in Potions and Charms."

"Specialists," Duck mumbled.

"Of course!" Rox yelled.  "While you suck at everything, we're good at some things."

"I am good at everything," Duck commented, pulling his wand.  He cast a hotfoot charm on Rox, who dispelled it easily.

"Seriously...weren't you paying attention?  Charms is my best subject!"  Duck looked thoughtful, as if contemplating a decision.  Rox saw his thought and disarmed him with a word.  "Don't even think about it."  Duck pouted and huffed.

"Whatever…can I study now?  I need to find a book on underworld races."  Rox reached over and pulled a book out of the pile, handing it to him.  She and Frost left the library, but not before whispering in his ear.

"Remember the alibi.  And make sure Professor Snape hears you."  They snuck out, making sure no one saw them, and bolted to the Gryffindor common room.  Years ago, Rox had found an alternate entrance into the Gryffindor common room, away from the Fat Lady.  After completing their task, they stood in the shadows waiting.  The Gryffindors came up cheering and laughing.  They had lifted Potter up on their shoulders and were chanting his name.  Rox snickered.

"What's so funny?" Frost whispered.

"I just won 10 Galleons from Cho Chang."  Frost snickered with her and they watched as they gave the password.  Immediately, they were set upon by thousands of frogs.  The girls screamed and the boys jumped out of the way.  Rox and Frost bolted silently for the library, holding in peals of laughter.  Once they were out of earshot, they burst out with laughter.

They snuck back in, sitting down next to Duck.  "Don't worry, we got a picture."  Frost held it up for him to see.  Gryffindors dodged bouncing frogs by jumping out of the picture, or jumping on top of one another.  Duck snorted and tucked the picture into his book bag.

"Thanks.  I trust it went well."

"Perfectly," Rox laughed.  She picked up a book on Herbology and started on her essay.  Frost began scribbling down notes on Care of Magical Creatures for Rox to study later that night.

Thirty minutes later, the Headmaster burst in with Snape and McGonagall in tow.  Everyone stopped and turned their attention to the unusual sight.

"There has been a most foul prank pulled on the Gryffindors in their common room.  I'm not saying anyone in here is responsible, but I do ask that you pass the message along.  If the responsible parties do not confess, Hogsmeade weekends will be cancelled."  Groans were heard throughout the library.  Rox watched the trio leave, and just before the door shut, she shouted as loud as she could.

"Thanks a lot Malfoy!"  As expected, they came bursting back in and hauled Malfoy and his cronies to their feet, the three complaining the entire time that it wasn't them.  McGonagall let go and turned to Rox.

"How do you know it was Mr. Malfoy?" she questioned.

"I don't, ma'am, but I did see him leaving earlier.  He's the only one I can think of with the means, the motive, and the capability to pull off a prank on all the Gryffindors."  Eyeing her suspiciously, she edged closer.  Snape moved forward also, ready to defend his pupils.

"And where were you and Ms. Frost?"

"Here, studying for your exam tomorrow."  Frost nodded.  McGonagall eyed them both, then turned to Duck.

"Mr. Duck, is this true?"

"Ma'am, Frost, Rox, and I were all studying together.  They never left the library," he said convincingly.  McGonagall turned to Malfoy.

"Mr. Malfoy, do you have an alibi?"  He turned to Crabbe and Goyle, who seemed to be snickering over nothing.  Then he saw the photo.  Dumbledore grabbed it and narrowed his eyes, showing the other teachers.  "That settles it then. Come along boys," she huffed.  They were hauled out of the library unceremoniously.  Snape cast an approving smirk back at the girls, who turned back to their books.  Once the doors were completely closed, they counted to ten, then let out huge laughs.

"That was great.  You're a natural Ducky!"  Frost clapped him on the back.  He looked up at them.

"But how did those two oafs get the photo?"  Rox pulled Duck's wand from behind her back.  "That's my wand!"  He snatched it back.

"Yep, and the magical core is the same as Malfoy's.  So if they can trace it somehow, it can't be linked back to us.  Well, me and Frost."

"Hey!"

"Don't worry, Duck-man, we'll cover for ya!"  Frost clapped him on the back again.

"Can I study in peace now?  I did my part!"  He shoved his wand back into his robes and set back into the book.

Rox and Frost sat down as well, looking over each other's notes for the exams tomorrow.  All in all, it was a pretty good day.


End file.
